Single Problems

I was single before I met The Mr. Really. Really single.

Though I had gone on some dates with other men, The Mr. was my first boyfriend. I was well into my twenties at the time.

When single I received a lot of advice. Truthfully, I don't really remember much of it. I remember how it made me feel though.

It made me feel like I was some sort of incomplete being, though I didn't really feel that way (most of the time). It made me feel like I needed to be perfect in order to reach the royal state of marriage, and once perfect Mr. Right would come knocking at my door. He would come with a tuxedo and dozens of roses. That's how I would know that he was "The One". Shame on me if I settled for less.

I had a feeling they were wrong, but now that I have been married for more than a day I know for sure. This is wrong. So wrong.

Completion is found in Christ alone and has nothing to do with a ring on my finger or having someone to lay with at night. surprise. surprise. I am not perfect, and The Mr. has yet to show up in a tuxedo.

Let's be honest married folks. Settling for less has everything to do with character and little to do with gifts and romance. A marriage certificate is not the diploma of successful singleness. On the contrary marriage shows you just how imperfect you are. It bring out your weaknesses like no other. It brings you to a place of being at the end of yourself. You can either cling to yourself and watch your marriage crumble or cling to God's way of living and watch it thrive. You are married. You know that. I know that. Why aren't we sharing that with our single friends? I think it's because we are afraid. I think we are afraid that they will use this as an excuse to truly settle, in a bad way. We need to stop that foolishness though. Let's just be real, and let God handle the rest.

Amazingly enough, I was the Mr.'s first girlfriend. He was well into his twenties as well. We had no clue what we were doing when we started dating. I didn't know that I was "supposed to" watch gory movies without complaining, and he didn't know that he was "supposed to" show up to my home in a tuxedo with dozens of roses. Instead, I wound up falling asleep at the movies and he showed up at my door in his UCF shirt. Sounds so wrong, right?
Until you look a little further. We lived a two and a half hour drive from each other so the movies became a place to nap before heading out the road. He showed up at my house after a week of house hunting and work deadlines as I received news of my Grandmother's passing. For the first time in days, I was able to rest for a bit.

That's love.

What is my point? Don't reduce your love story to a formula. It's a beautifully complex story that deserves to be rightfully told. Also, don't judge your single friends by your actions when single. Allow them the opportunity to live, love, and write their own stories.

I find it a good thing to encourage our single friends, but let's be careful. That's all I am really saying.

Did I really cry over a banana?

You already know that God has been speaking to me about my eating and love of food. My devotion for food had become too much in my life, and my lack of healthy habits was becoming a hindrance. 

Before I knew it, I found myself at a cafe the next day with The Mr. I was stuck. Stuck like a deer in headlights. I had no idea what to order, and though the little voice inside whispered, "Eat as natural as possible". My flesh was opposed. Not completely opposed, but that's the most dangerous kind. 

You see something that is obviously opposed to the truth causes a knee jerk reaction. We know better, right? It's those subtle hints of, "That's true, but..." that often gets us in trouble. 

So what did The Mrs do? I ordered something "healthy', but not at all what God was leading me to do. It was some sort of lentil walnut concoction with a bottled water and banana. Inside I knew that a banana would be enough to fill me up, but I craved more. 

I love to eat. When the Mr and I went to the food counter, we realized that my lentil concoction was not on the receipt. The cashier did not ring it up. Coincidence? Nope. I don't think so. 

The Mr. was quick to want to go back and order it for me, but I told him no. Instead I went to the table with my banana and bottled water. 

"Okay, Lord. I don't feel strong, but you promised me strength."

Tears came to my eyes. (How embarrassing, right?) We prayed over our meal, and I began to eat. My stomach was full. Believe it or not. However, my flesh was dying. That hurt. 

It wasn't just about the banana or the lentil walnut mash-up that I really didn't think I would like anyhow. It was about the dying of my will. It was about the surrender. Again, I say. That hurt. 

Soon the tears flooded out of my eyes and down my face. It was pitiful. 

However, God gave me the strength. I stopped there. Stomach filled, and flesh emptying itself. 

It was a good place to be. I couldn't see it at the moment, but The Mr helped me to understand. 

Thank you honey. 

At the end of the day, we all have our "food". For me, it's well...food. For The Mr it's something else, and for you it may be something else altogether. The key is to let God have it. Let God shape it for His glory. 

I think He is slowly taking our "food" and exchanging it for His. 

John 4:34

"My food," said Jesus, "is to do the will of him who sent me and to finish his work.

Ministry in Marriage

May our marriages be good soil.