When trying to conceive, you long to see that second line on that wonderful stick. It takes a dreadful 2 weeks to get to the point before you can even test, but once you are there you know.
You finally get to know whether or not you and your Mr. are expecting.
Who cares what happens next because all you care about is knowing. But what happens when you don't, know that is. When something that is so joyful still feels so fleeting and slightly out of reach?
Let me explain.
I'm pregnant.
TheMr. and I are expecting our first child in April of 2013 and oh I couldn't tell you how happy I am...yet scared. We have told immediate family and they are elated. It's so wonderful. humbling. exciting. scary.
I shudder at the thought of disappointing them with news of a non viable pregnancy. This is a low part of my day. It isn't my constant fear, but when it hits....it hits.
Get thee behind me satan.
I decided that I was going to put these thoughts, opinions, and emotions out there. The 12 week wait is a long one, and part of me believes this is my personal boot camp.
Either I will learn to trust God, or I will live in fear.
Lord, I believe please help my unbelief.
I choose freedom. I choose peace.
This won't be made public until the second trimester. If something "goes wrong", they may never be made public, not too sure I could handle doing that. Weird, right? But right now, I'm writing this for me. I am hormonal, tired, and slightly queasy so it may not make sense at times, but that's okay.
This is real, uncut, and unprettified.
And oh yea, I'll be 5 weeks tomorrow.
Five down (almost). Seven more to go.
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