Fabulous. Beautiful. Intelligent. Single lady

I was single a lot longer than I have been married, so i am dedicating every Sunday to my single ladies. Trust me, it is all fresh in my mind. The awkward pauses, waiting, wondering, new outfits, first kisses, and everything in between. There is so much that I wish I could go back to tell myself in those days. Thankfully,  because of God's grace I had moments of clarity back then, even without knowing the end of story. It was after a spontaneous trip to Jacksonville, FL that I had a pep talk with myself. You see, I was the queen of rejection. I was rejected, therefore I rejected.  

After that trip I made the decision to be a bit more open. It was not a means to compromise my standard, but a way to put down my guard. Originally I probably told myself something along the lines of, "Snap out of it! If you ever want to get married, you are going to have to be a bit more approachable." 

Here is pretty much the same pep talk, but gussied up a bit with more insight that I have gained along the way. 

Fabulous. Beautiful. Intelligent. Single lady. It's okay for you to ask out a guy every now and again. It doesn't make you any less fabulous or any less you. It doesn't mean that you will one day have to pop the question and be the sole provider of the home. It just means that you want to hang out with the guy. Don't put the cart before the horse, or the ring before the first date. 

Just because you can make a man jump through hoops for you, it doesn't mean that his heart for you. Don't trust the game. Don't trust the obstacle course that you laid out for him to conquer. Don't trust your heart, completely. Trust what you see (the good, the bad, and the ugly), not what you want to see. I'm not telling you to marry the frog. I'm just reminding you that the Prince is not just a notion. He's a real man, with real feelings, needs, thoughts, and concerns. Above all, trust God. 

Don't make yourself more than you are, and don't make Mr. Right out to be some sort of a god. He's not and neither are you.

I'll end with this. Some time ago, I remember yelling at my brother. He was going out on a first date, but he hadn't had time to change out of work clothes or get a haircut. For the sake of wanting everything to go well for him, I pleaded with him to make a quick pit stop so he could look presentable for his date. He said,"If she's going to like me, she's going to have to like me for me."

They just celebrated their one yr wedding anniversary yesterday. So maybe it's time to decide that this tough talking, diva walking, demand giving approach isn't working out. Maybe it's time to get real, be real, and get to know people.

Give Mr. Right the chance to find you, the real you, that's hiding behind this mess. Because truly, you can't demand love. When it comes, it comes freely and wholeheartedly....mutually. 

I say this because I love you. I really do.

*God works in mysterious ways. It was this philosophy that led me to ask this young man that I had been chatting online with for years to be my wedding date. A few years later he would accompany me to another wedding. Ours.  ;)

What do you think? Let's talk about it.